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Skinny Mirrors: Friend or Faux?

by sky

It’s a year-round issue, but one that seems most prominent during the swimsuit shopping season. Skinny mirrors. No comprende? Then perhaps you’re not the neurotic type and should congratulate yourself. For the other 99.9-percent on the female population – you know damn well about the power and deception behind a skinny mirror. Is that really me in the mirror? Or, is the reflection staring back simply a marketing ploy to make me think I’m hotter than I really am? The latter, is most likely the truth.

While skinny mirrors can be found anywhere, the most evil positioning is in a clothing store. You know the drill. You try on a dozen pairs of jeans, and decide your ass looks half its normal size in at least one pair. By the time you rip off the tags and throw away the receipt, it dawns on you. You’ve been duped. Yes, your butt is still the girth it’s always been. In your “real mirror” that fact is as clear as the tears you shed when you found out your ex-boyfriend was marrying the only girl you hated in college (who, incidentally, had a 23 inch waist and big tits).

Perhaps even more devastating is this comment, made by your best friend, in your own home: “Oh, look! You’ve got a skinny mirror!” How could this be? I thought all my mirrors told the truth. That means all the times you thought you looked svelt in those tight pants – it was a mirage. Where can a girl find a true reflection?

Window reflections are usually true to form, and provide you with a quality, real-life look at your thighs. And, if you happen to look at yourself while cruising down the sidewalk – you can also see what you look like “in action.” Perrrrrfect. Also, if you’re daring enough to try anything on at the DI before washing it 10 times – they have a nice, solid “real” mirror.

Francesca, a close friend of mine, says she thinks department store mirrors make you look bigger, not smaller. “All those angles are horrific.” Good point. Still, the lighting, combined with tricky angles are enough to make even heafties look more like hotties. So, what’s wrong with that? Perhaps nothing. In this world where women are judged far too much upon appearance – we need help. An ego boost no matter where it comes from is good news. Perception is everything. Perceive yourself as the hot vixen you want to be – and that’s what people will see.

Yea, yea… whatever. Some of us still need a “real” mirror, and a sincere reaction from the opposite sex that confirms our beauty, sexuality, and overall hotness. Blame it on the media, our parents or their parents —- some habits are hard to break. “By the way, could you please move over? You’re blocking my view of my ass in that large glass window.”

Due to an intense research schedule, Sky’s column on blow-jobs will appear in an upcoming column.