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Biting the Buddha's Candy


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Wild Card

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Phat Tat

Ski Bums


Kellogg’s Raisin Bran commercials are now saying the cereal has 25 percent more raisins than before. Well, when it was just “two scoops,” eating that shit was like trying to gnaw your way through a PowerBar—who needs a 50 mile bike ride with a jaw-workout like that? We can’t even imagine what Kellogg’s Raisin Bran would be like with 25 percent more. Maybe Ironman will consider replacing the menial “run” section of its triathlon with the dangerous “bowl of cereal” segment. Post was and still is the only way to go.

Wildfire Sagehen If you’ve ever seen a sagehen, you know what they’re all about. You’re slowly walking through the wilderness, enjoying the pleasant serenity of it all, and BUDADADADA! Six crazy chickens fly out from under your feet, scaring the living shit out of you. It takes everything they’ve got to fly 40 feet, then land. Perhaps it’s just a rural myth, but it’s said that a wildfire fighter with a good arm can drop a sagehen with one rock. Once the bird is wrapped in foil with some wild onions, it can be cooked perfectly in the hot embers of the dying wildfire. It’s probably just rumor.

Liquor Movies that should be seen in Utah: Animal House, Unforgiven, and Drunken Master.

Just Shoot Me is a pretty funny show; but what’s sometimes interesting is to see if you can spot who the show’s producers are on the cover of “Blush” magazine. We swear last summer they had Marion Jones. And this spring we thought we saw Elisabeth Filarski, the blonde hottie from Survivor that everyone was talking about. Hmmm.

Son of the Beach isn’t meant to be a primetime sitcom. First of all, this is Howard Stern’s gig. And how did Stern get to be so big? Sex, lies, and lowbrow humor. Playboy playmate Jamie Bergman plays B.J. Cummings. “Use your head B.J.” and anything about ‘Notch Johnson’s unit’ are just the sort of lewd, double entendres you can expect. Son of the Beach is Trey-Parker-meets-JackAss-style fun that’s dirtier than anything we’ve ever printed.