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Pickled Think

Gear Review: 2002 Kayaks

Redneck Haiku

Chick Chat

The Curious Fate of Nitro Villechaize

Wild Card

Comics & Images

Phat Tat



by tommy kirchhoff

Brian was HARDUP. It had been a TAD too long since he had tasted the SWEETS of female FRUITLAND.

He headed for LAYTON. He figured he could find a WILDCAT there whose MOUND CITY needed his LITTLE MOUNTAIN.

He met EDEN and the connection was STRONG. EDEN pretended to TEASDALE, but it was a BLUFF. She moved slowly toward Brian, then drew his face into the DELLE between her luscious KNOLLS.

Brian felt his JOHNSON WHIPUP from COTTONWOOD to OAK CITY. When EDEN felt this, she unfastened his BELT ROUTE, and NEELS down to give BRIAN HEAD.

It was PARADISE, but Brian knew it came at a PRICE. To return the favor, Brian followed THE AVENUES down to EDEN’S SUGARHOUSE. Expecting to encounter a GUSHER, he was surprised to find a DRY FORK. There was only one thing to do: NIBLEY.

Brian started in and almost immediately EDEN’S PLEASANT GROVE began to BLOOM. The RAINS came and so did EDEN, as she went from HONEYVILLE to RUSH VALLEY and back.

EDEN’S BASIN was as QUIGLEY as it could be, and Brian’s DRAGON grew MAMMOTH. He started to MURRAY that if he didn’t BUNKER soon, his WILDWOOD might explode.

Brian jerked EDEN beneath him in a forceful motion. He figured he needed a little HELPER, so he took one step back and started LA VERKIN—his CASTLE ROCK pulsed in deep VERMILLION.

Brian estimated the ANGLE and headed straight for BONE VALLEY. When Brian got DOWNTOWN, the JOY of it was almost too much for EDEN. She began to MONA, then she cried, “MOORE, MOORE, MOORE!”

The event became a HURRICANE, as it went from ALTA to ESCALANTE in no time at all. Brian continued to drive his TEMPLE into BONNEVILLE, and EDEN traversed in her CANYONS until the final moment when they both screamed, “EUREKA!”

The PAYSON was BOUNTIFUL, so Brian and EDEN toweled off and lit up a SALEM.