On the Road to Nowhere

Celebrating the Second Amendment

Pickled Think


Cold Beer and Shrinkage

Zions Merger: Getting Stung Within the Hive

Who's Suing Who

Comics & Images

Phat Tat

Ski Bums


Three Rhinolithe

by tommy kirchhoff

The Entrepreneur picks his nose in public. He drills in deliberate motions while working the bugs out of his new plan. This mental excavation many times leaves him looking careless and "eccentric" as he is quite often caught with his pointer finger probing.

The Entrepreneur has figured out all the business games through mining a thousand tough boogers. He can play the "Corporate Good Old Boys" game as well as "Lookin' out for number one." His techniques for business are volatile, but he really knows how to dig out of a paperwork mess; and when things get sticky, he'll always be there to pull the boys out of the hole.

The Entrepreneur would rather see the Boss Man pick his nose than to get caught in a meeting with him, staring at his visible, unknown booger.

The Business Developer prefers to pick his nose on the drive home after a long day. He sings loud with the radio, and thinks no one can see him slowly working with highly trained touch in the privacy of his luxury car. This is his time.

From his big corner office with two windows, he has drawn out the best associates for promotion, and carefully extracted the day's problems from the company. He feels bad for pointing a finger at one stubborn obstacle, but the song's real loud and the windows are tinted, and he'll soon be home and able to breathe free from another dry day.

The Business Developer takes a stab in the elevator once in a while, but he knows it's risky. He also mandated that all employees wash their hands for 15 seconds after bathroom use. He has a clear conscience about that, too.

The Beta Bureaucrat sits nervously in his cubicle and takes an occasional rim scratch. He wouldn't want to get caught pickin' it, or worse yet, get caught screwing around. His favorite phalange works like an apprehensive hummingbird-in and out in a twitching flash-a technique his mother taught him.

On his little breaks, he looks up into the corporate machine and thinks it's much too complicated for him to grasp. He may explore its vast mechanisms, and stroke its lengths, but he'll always move with the heard, stifle a thought, stay solemn in appearance-and should the boss-man start coming, this way,

"Mm, hmm-yup; I'm doin' something-mm, hmm."