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The Big Squeeze

by tommy kirchhoff

Not long ago, art was born. The first exhibitors of creativity stroked blood and earthen dyes on cave walls for reasons we don’t know. These beings were the first to point a finger at existence and attempt to portray the value of life.

Quite some time before that, life had no conscience. Kingdom, Phylum and Class would be the only nametags future man-thinkers could assign to the creatures of this period; there would be no need for taxonomy of Order, Genus or Species for a long while. Life was simple. It was short. And no one worried about rushing to beat a yellow light.

Before that, our planet was volatile and hostile. There was no water or atmosphere. Molten rock bubbled throughout the surface and core, and meteors punched holes repeatedly into the high-velocity rock to be someday known as Earth.

To go back further, future scientists would only be able to half-reveal the Genesis of their universe by the two-thousandth year of their “calendar.” They would describe the microseconds following a giant explosion of matter—quarks and sub-sub-atomic particles taking on properties and densities that would defy their understanding and description for eons. The mere fact that I use these words to describe the occurrence and medium are only on the basis of what these scientists would be able to grasp and teach to people over time.

The amazing aspect of this teaching (or learning as this information is obviously not mine) is the religious nature of the thought process. Twenty-first century scientists have gone so far as to label the beginning of the universe, time and our existence as “The Big Boom.” Not only trite is the label they give it, but narrow is its vision.

Because these men and women have been unable to answer the next question, they follow the path of the earliest storyteller. “What happened before the Big Boom?”

“There was nothing, and so it must have had some sort of God-like intervention in the form of an energy catalyst.” Religion to explain the unexplainable.

My theoretical answer to that question parallels other’s theories. A very long time before the Big Boom, let’s just say 5 billion years, life thrived on many, many planets throughout a universe. Who cares if they had cars, or art, or wondered if other thinking beings existed out there. Too much, too much. Anyway, they lived and evolved and developed. Who knows if carbon-based life is the only possible way to “live.” (Creatures live inside the hottest stars; other things live at temperatures colder that –243 degress Kalvin.) OK, so a google of life-forms are doing it and living, and speeding through the universe on some uncontrollable path.

Almost five billion years later, one life form in some unimaginable climate figures out that its universe came from “The Huge Kaboom.” In its same lifetime, it also figures out that its universe is on path to total destruction. The universe as it knows would be gone in another five billion years. (Let’s just call it years, OK?) After five billion years, this creature’s entire universe would be enveloped in a collapsed star—or in other words, a black hole.

Five billion years later, the prophecy manifests. A million planets and a google of life forms plunge headfirst into a black hole. All matter and time condense into a place you wouldn’t want to go for a beer. Blamo! Out the other side (white hole theory) bursts this matter and energy, and much of it begins to amalgamate. Planets form, earth cools, atmosphere, a little weather and the next thing you know you’ve got little spermy things swimming around and evolving into people. And while this whole Universe-Black Hole-Universe thing is happening, it’s happening in a google-plex of other spaces and black holes.

The gist of everything is cycles. Scientists figure these things out. They use math and physics to draw equations and get it all down on paper. And they’re the ones who taught us that matter can be neither created or destroyed. All things work in cycles. There is no beginning and no end. Just points along a circle.

OK, you say, “Why would Tommy think he’s figured something out that the smart guys haven’t?” Well, I’m not the first to pose this theory. However, scientists shake off these theories repeatedly because they don’t fit with other well-known, well-considered theories.

A big hurdle for researchers on this topic is the science of dating. The planet is 12.5 billion years old. Well, how did scientists measure it? Carbon dating? Radioactive cosmochronometry? The reality is, any sort of dating that scientists and engineers have calculated would be useless to date matter/ radioactivity that’s been through a black hole. And while scientists can shoot holes in my theory with the theory of relativity and space-time mathematics, not one of them can say where matter goes when it experiences the event horizon of a black hole.

So…life is short. We’re all gonna die. And worse yet, someday no one will ever know that we were ever here. So be nice to people.