Beer Prayer

It Gets Sent to the Dump Anyway, Right?

Pickled Think


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Take Fifty Steps Back

Springtime Hate

Wild Card

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Phat Tat

Ski Bums


Springtime Hate

by sky

The birds are chirping, that cool springtime aroma is in the air, flowers are set to bloom… and your waitress wants to kill you. Welcome to Park City in April. Yes, we’ve all had enough. If you’re visiting our lovely, cute little ski town this late in the season, there’s a few things you should know. First, we’re over it. We’ve been on our feet serving the public, bending over backwards to please people like you for five months straight, and suddenly, practically overnight, we’ve lost our shit.

Go to any restaurant to eves drop on the workers and you’re bound to hear comments like, “Can we just shut down tonight?” or “You can take all the tables… I’ll just sit in the closet.” Or, “What if we say we all have food poisoning, then we’d have to close.”

“Everybody I work with is ready to get out of town,” said Beth, a local waitress & hostess & retail clerk (you gotta have at least 3 jobs here, remember?). “It’s like this every year.” Beth and others attribute our lack of patience to several things, the foremost being cheap customers. Bottom line: If you can’t afford to go out and eat a meal, and tip your server properly – you shouldn’t go out. Go to Albertson’s if it’s out of your budget to pay us what we deserve.

Unofficial, unconfirmed data shows more cheap people come to Park City in the spring than any other time of year. Want proof? Talk to the waiter with the 12-top that ordered one coke, and split 3 entrees. Or what about the group of six that just wanted rice and peanut sauce, and lemon for their waters? I rest my case.

We want to be nice, we really do. And you can help us. Here are a few comments that should NOT come out of your mouth —- then maybe, just maybe, we can give you the great service you deserve.

Comments that inspire fuses to blow:

Oh no thanks, I’ll just have water.

What do you mean there’s a gratuity on this?

We all need separate checks (a 12-person table).

You were so sweet to us… we’ll take good care of you (then leaves a 10-percent tip).

If we come in at seven, will it be busy?

I thought you were supposed to have snow.

Why can’t I get a double? You call this a drink?

Anyone who walks into a restaurant after 9:00 and chooses to camp out for hours…