Bunnyranch Transplant Arrives in Park City
It wasn’t long ago, I found out that a man by the name of Wild Warren was considering relocating to little ol’ Park City. You may have read his work by now. He’s graced the covers of Wild Utah, and has more material than a Chinese sweatshop. Claim to fame? Where do I start? Perhaps at the Moonlite Bunnyranch, where Warren became the one and only man to pull down a paycheck from the front of the house. Don’t know the Moonlite? Read on my friend.
Sky: WHAT IS THE MOONLITE BUNNYRANCH?
Warren: It is quite simply the way America should be. You walk in with no friends and some money, and then you make friends at the bar. It’s outside of Carson City on a hill known as “mound house.” There are four bordellos within a half-mile of each other. Three are in a cul-de-sac down the road from the Bunnyranch, which stands alone.
Sky: HISTORY OF THE BUNNYRANCH?
Warren: Dennis Hof (Bunny Ranch Owner) got buddy-buddy with Larry Flint in the mid 90’s, and by 1997 he used his connections to get some fairly top notch porn stars to work at the Bunnyranch as prostitutes. Sunset Thomas is just one of the big names that works there… Teri Wiegel (only girl to ever be a Playboy Playmate, Penthouse Pet, and Porn Star—the Triple Crown) worked there too. You could see them in the mags, then have sex with them there with no bothersome staples involved.
Sky: HOW DID YOU GET THERE, AND HOW DID YOU GET HIRED?
Warren: I came to Nevada after a personal breakdown. I decided I was going to whore for two years. I had been there before, but I saw Dennis Hof at a Swingers Convention. I thanked him for making it possible for an average shmo like me to have sex with Sunset Thomas. I ended up doing stand-up in Reno, and Hof would come see me—finally I asked to be a bartender there.
Sky: HOW LONG DID YOU HAVE TO WAIT TO GET AN APPOINTMENT WITH SUNSET?
Warren: Three hours.
Sky: WERE THERE OTHER MEN WORKING THERE?
Warren: Yes, the maintenance man Bill, and the runners (those are the guys who drive the women to and from the doctors office, to and from the stores, airports, anywhere). The cook is usually a man also. I was the only front-of-the-house guy. Dennis liked my voice so he had me announce the women
Sky: HOW DOES THAT WORK, BEING AN ANNOUNCER AT A BROTHEL?
Warren: As a customer, you come to the gate, you ring the bell, while you’re waiting I ring the bell for the women (30 girls or so) to get in place, not wearing very much, and then I let the men come up the ramp. Most of the men are impatient and want to go to the bar. I tried to educate them on how it all worked. I told them it’s best to pick a lady right away… and then I announce each girl:
“Gentleman welcome to the Moonlite Bunnyranch, let me introduce you to the lovely ladies we have for you at this time.” (Implying that we have more, you just can’t see them right now)
“We have Laina, Air Force Amy, Trinity – a recent cover girl for Big Butt Magazine, Annie Andersinn, Bianca & her mom Casey, Mai Tai, Desire, Snow, Pleasure, Barely Legal Mel, Sunset Thomas….”
Sky: HOW DID THE JOB RANK WITH OTHERS YOU HAD IN THE PAST?
Warren: Oh god, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I talked to some of the most beautiful girls in the world and was consistently aroused, and couldn’t do anything about it—constantly shut down. There was a no fraternization policy. I actually turned down some offers—I was afraid the Madame would find out.
Sky: WHO WAS THE MADAME?
Warren: Her name is Madame Suzette. She needs mood medication. She is 35, looks 50. She’s overweight, she would complain about how she hadn’t been laid in so long. She would meow like a diseased cat when she was happy.
Sky: RULES AND REGULATIONS AT THE BUNNYRANCH?
Warren: Nevada is the only state where prostitution is legal but in bordellos only. The girls are medically checked every week, and condoms are absolutely mandatory. Of course, sometimes they’ll fudge on the blowjobs.
Sky: WHO WERE THE MOST FREQUENT CUSTOMERS?
Warren: It’s everybody, but mostly the high rollers. A fair share of repeat customers. They’re any age—you have to be 18 to party, 21 to drink. The oldest guy I ever saw in there was in his seventies.
Sky: WHAT’S THE MOST STANDARD SCENARIO FOR THE FIRST-TIMER?
Warren: The first-timer will come in with not enough money thinking he can get what he wants for under 100 bucks. They figure it out and find the money. Credit cards are excepted, no personal checks, and you can have a tab. Then, they have a good time. The satisfaction report cards are usually A’s at the Bunnyranch.
Sky: SOME EXAMPLES OF PRICES?
Warren: Each girl is an independent contractor with her own prices and parties. Each tour of the Ranch ends in a discussion in the girl’s room. There, she will explain her prices and services. Generally you’re doing it on top of a comforter or towel.
Keep in mind, if a girl is new, she’ll probably end up doing the drunk Mexicans that come into the ranch in the mornings for a lower price. There is no general pricing. You have first-time girls, and then there are women who are porn stars. If you want to have a great time, I’d bring in $500 bucks. You can have a very decent time for 300.
Sky: WAYS TO CUT THE COST BACK?
Warren: Fuck the cuddle time. Ask how much it is for a half hour if you’re low on funds, or ask for a quick 15-minute party. Yes, there is a timekeeper in the office.
Sky: BIGGEST MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT THE BUNNYRANCH?
Warren: There are so many. These women are not skanky whores. Many have kids, are married, and are lovely people.
Sky: Thank you Warren for enlightening me. Contrary to popular belief,
I’ve never worked in a brothel, or known anyone who has. We’ll have to continue
this conversation later.
Warren: I always dreamed I’d be an expert in something—I just never dreamed it would be this.