2002 Unofficial Utah Winter Olympics Language Guide

Pickled Think

When Macro Meets Micro

Pilgrimage to Mecca

The Buzz

Subterranian Afgan Blues

Chick Chat

The Marvin Syndrome

Wild Card


Comics & Images

Phat Tat

Utah or Bust



by andrew haley

Saddam’s in his sandbox
Messing round with smallpox
I’m on the catwalk
Thinkin bout those tomahawks
The man in the camo Rumsfeld, Powell
They say with a growl
They’re gonna shoot me through my towel
Look out Omar They’re comin from afar
Allah be praised
The country’s gettin raised
Better head for the mountains
Get ourselves a big tent
Those pig eating infidel jews
And christians
Wanna make Afganistan American

Mohamed comes damn quick
Looks like his been sick
Sayin that the SEALS put
Mines in the camps but
The phone’s tapped anyway
Omar thinks we better pray
Not to Allah but the NSA
Before they make us pay
Don’t matter what we did
Drive where the road’s paved
Don’t eat bad dates
Better go get a quick shave
Find yourself a deep cave
Try to be brave
Allah will save
We don’t need the Taliban
To make it in Afganistan
Get shot, get well
at Zawahiri’s hospital
take pill, it’s Allah’s will
If anything is gonna kill
Fight hard, reward
Go blind, live in jail
Get caught, shoot still
Blow yourself up if you fail
We’re gonna get hit
By pilots, sailors six-foot Rangers
Head up to Kashmir
Girl’s are parasites
Wait for sex in paradise
Give Bush the finger
Carry round a Stinger

Find a yurt, stay alert
Bad wind, big send, our best friend
Smoke pot, praise God
Try to fight the jihad
Yemen, Sudan, my friends
It’s bin Laden
Twenty years of terror
As if they don’t remember them
I think we’re all dead
Better change our name to Samuel
get a funny candle
pray to Daniel
Try to get to Israel
Don’t wanna get flayed
Talk to Yaweh
There’s no way out
Cause the Stanies stole our camels