No-Brainer Guide to Utah 2000 Elections

Letter to the Editor

Hung Up on Number in Utah

Sue Your Telemarketer

Bobsleders Take Seventh Place at World Team Trials

"E" Stands for Annoying

Rocky Mountain Hollywood

Something Stinks

Sexnight at Casa Del Crenshaw

Comics & Images

Phat Tat

Ski Bums



by sky

Ah yes, the first ever pilgrimage to Salt Lake City's E-Center. How bad could it be? After all, I'm going to see one of my favorite bands that has yet to put on a disappointing performance. These are the things I tell myself. Then, reality hits at the massive arena off I-215.

Where's the ticket office? No one seems to know. That's why our Park City posse chose to walk through the door that a 15-year-old smoker was holding open.

Just like that, we walked into the E-Center to see the Barenaked Ladies and then had to find the ticket office to pick up our tickets at will-call once we were inside.

Finding will-call.. no easy task as we dodged throngs of blonde, blue-eyed teenagers. Most waited in a line that wrapped half way around the concourse. They gripped the latest BNL CDs in hopes of getting an autograph prior to the show.

This is when it hits me… tonight, "E" stands for annoying.

The teeny-bopper factor was nearly unbearable when relief was spotted. Shocking as it may seem to Parkites, beer is served in the E-center and you can have as much as you want, AND you can drink it while you watch a show. "Oh my heck!" Oops, I mean, "Thank fucking god!"

If the truth be told, it wasn't the E-Center's fault that my concert experience was less than appealing. Instead, it was the demographics and my belief that no band, no matter how dedicated, could possibly get excited about performing at a massive arena in Salt Lake City, Utah.

With that said, I vow never to return for a show at the E-Center. Not even Widespread. O.K., maybe Widespread, but only if enough mushrooms are involved. Besides, I think it would be a different crowd.

One more note: a halfway credible source tells me that "E" actually stands for "entertainment."

Nevertheless, I will still cling to my own acronym deciphering.